Friday, October 16, 2009

my four year old is me.... this is what my parents threatened me with

  • They are all laughing at me.... My parents, probably my sisters basically anyone who knew me as a child.

    My middle daughter is terrible, she's adorable i will give you that and her voice is not as gratting as mine was im sure but she is basically me as a child.

    As a child I was horrid. I was super loving, but I was a tyrant. Rebelled against any order. Apparently my voice could be heard within a twelve mile radius when i was upset. I did destructive things all the time especially if my parents told me not too. here i will list a few examples so you can get an idea of how terrible i was:

    As a child 6 and under

  • I would peel the wall paper off my walls on purpose immediately after told and threatened not too.

  • I would wake up and pee the bed, gross i know but as a child i didnt seem to mind lying in my own urine.
  • to get back at my parents during time outs, i would climb under my bed and have a nice little pee.
  • I hit, screamed, and tortured anyone in my way

  • And i chronically whined.... And i would persistently ask for what I wanted.... Im sure this was the worst
Now there was much more terrible things I did but I thought this list would give you an example of just what my parents had to put up with. Basically as a child if you crossed me i punished you. my favorite weapon just happened to be pee.

So as a child and more so as an adolescent my parents would joke wth me and tell others basically what goes around comes around and I would get what i gave.

So when I had my first daughter and she was an angel. Even at six when she comes home with the super terrible i know everything six year old attitude she is not hard to get through too. When i give her a consequence she just pouts.

I had thought my parents were wrong though. My first daughter was an angel and my second baby smiled all the time.

Even at 9 months when my quiet smiling baby started yelling at me i didnt see the resembalance to me. Because from 18 months to two and half she went back to being sweet and kind and loving. Slowly though i see me in her and I fear for my sanity.

For example they coloured on my walls. I mean they coloured murals on like eight walls. Im going to figure out how to add pictures and give you all a laugh!

I made them wash them off. I was terribly stern I was a terribly mean mommy. Bria seemed to learn her lesson. She has coloured on the walls since but she has kept them small and hidden.... Mia punished me almost immediately for the wall incident and my harshness. She coloured my brand new chaise with marker....

Now when I say she is me.... its her reasoning skills and negotiating persistence that reminds me of me. It is exhausting. And funny. when she is naughty and she often is, she says things that I remember saying and I can see her train of thought like it is my own. The fact that she is so like me makes parenting her impossible... well almost. I cannot keep a straight face in the midst of one her episodes.

Panic Often sets in when i look at my gorgeous clever trouble maker and i think of my life as a teen..... and this is what my parents threatened me with.....

Monday, October 12, 2009

My House Smells like vomit

There is not a clean room in my house. uhg I can't stand it. and so what am i doing.... escaping to my computer lying to my husband saying i have to work.

This is not work..... well i guess sort of is, I make diapers for a living and this chronicles my diaper life.

I have just put a load of diapers in the wash and i only did that because I had to.

My Baby has being so sick. I mean sick ! She is six months old and i have never had a sick baby before. She started teething on tuesday night so that was a pretty sleepless night.... then she got sick on weds. nite. And when I say sick I mean "is it possible for that much stuff to come out of a little baby" kind of sick. More then once she covered me from head to toe in baby upchuck. we didnt sleep on wensday either..... On thursday she vomited so much she obstructed her airway. I took her to the hospital. the nurses helpline was going to make me call 911 but seriously i live closer then the ambulance.....well sort of. We didnt sleep on thusday nite either....... friday I was a zombie. my house smelled rancid.

I was drunk on exhaustion. we ate pizza. I hadn't being eating because i was to tired to make something. Pizza was good. we left all our dishes on the table. we left our clothes on the floor, toys were everywhere.

I went to bed early friday night. I expected the exhaustion drunkedness to let me fall asleep right away..... Oh my god...... I cant eefing sleep..... the baby is asleep, dennis is asleep, the girls are asleep and i cant sleep. I tried counting sheep. Yeah i did. I know its from a mattress commercial or whatever but i tried anyways.....I'm still not asleep. I look at the clock its just about 12:00 and all i can think about is trying to force myself to sleep. who knows how long i have..... before " she" starts again.

Yup I just referred to my precious gorgeous baby girl as "she". I havent slept. Im blaming my poor baby..... you try three days with no sleep and tell me how you handle it! I sleep.

baby wakes up at 3:45 whine crying.... I ignore.... dennis doesn't... God i love him! at 4:30 she is still whine crying. dennis and me are both up now.... nothing is working... 5:00 still whine crying.... dennis says " oh god just go to sleep" I say "I'm Trying" He laughs.

I decide to give "the brain damage giving, everyone gets bad emails about the danger of numbing the toungue and choking to death, poison BABY ORALGEL " and for those of you who are against it I did my own home studies and not once did my toungue go so numb I choked on it.... I also give her some tylenol.

By six she is sleeping and by six oh one I am too. I sleep and so does den till 9:30 our older girls have being up eating wagon wheels for a couple hours.

When she wakes at ten I drag my lazy butt out of bed. I pick her up and have a snuggle. Even when she is sleep sweaty, puke covered, and a full cloth diaper full of pee , she smell precious and perfect. Im nuzzling her when i see something coming out of her ear. I look and it is full on infected I can see puss (god that word is gross) coming out of her ear. Great I was suppose to bring her to the emergency today and now im going to have to.

Now let me tell you I was not looking forward to a saturday visit to the emergency department. The wait is terrible.... always like fifteen or more people waiting to see a doctor and i was going to have to hold my baby on my lap so random germ infested people wouldn't feel the need to touch her hands and her face. I am prepared I put on my moby wrap and swaddle my baby put her in facing me the only visible part of her is her face and people wont touch her when her face is so close to me.

Now dont get me wrong... Im not a germa phobe anymore.... but the hospital is a breeding ground for mrsa and staph bacterias not to mention people who go there arent there because they r healthy.

I go in baby is quiet crying she is taking it all in. Quietly letting people assess her. They send us out into the waiting room to wait.... not a priority. I sit with her and after a minute she is use to the waiting room she starts to whine cry. Someone stops and says how cute she is and touches her face..gross. Then after a minute of whinecrying she starts to really cry.... The people in the waiting room look at me with a mixture of pity and am I really going to have to listen to this for the next two hours.

Here comes the nurse. he says " can reg and aaaah tinsley follow me."

I think what we just got here. OH well they put me in the kid room. Baby keeps crying. I try to calm her I try to make her laugh. But all I get is a laugh cry and it sounds kind of creepy so I hold her and let her cry. I hear the doctor, he says" no no I will see them after" I will take care of the babe first"

What really.... it's a full house in the er... I just saw the ambulance bring in someone I saw three beds full at least and someone in the cast room and I get to see the doctor first..... Baby is still wailing. Doctor says to me " i will just wash my hands and we will see what we can do for you baby"

He comes in and listens to her chest. She screams the entire time. I tell him about the puss ( the word just grosses me out) he has a look and says "wow I cant even see her drum she is really infected." Hands me a prescription gives her some motrin and i am on my way out... As Im thanking the doctor tinsley falls asleep so quickly we both look down. She is so peaceful. So sweet. Had she being doing this ten minutes ago i would still be waiting in the waiting room instead im joyfully leaving. Woohoo thank you tinsley for being unbareable!!!!!

She sleeps I sleep.

Now it is monday one full day from the last time she was ill. My house is still a disaster. It is gross. I should be doing something but im not. Im on my computer, d- virusing the kids computer while siting with mine on my lap pretending to work hoping my husband will wash the floors.....